The (mis)adventures of the Spanish Ninja Book 1
by Chibi-Nemesis
Summary: Vega trys his hand at baggin' a street fighter babe...Chun-li...Cammy...Even Guiles wife! does he suceed? read and see (although i think the title give the answer away!)
1. Default Chapter

The (mis)adventures of the Spanish ninja book 1 

Vega was making his way to rose's apartment, as Bison had said he wanted her killed after she turned him into a whoopee cushion for a month. Now that he was ok-he had sent Vega with a special "de-psyching" potion to aid with her death.

Vega did not just rush in as that would be daft, he though he just might watch her for a while, see what a lady like herself gets up to. Watching her wander around her 2-floor bedroom house, the golden lighting suggested something mystical was going on. Peering through the window Rose was dressed in her usual attire, putting her earrings on a moment before the door rang. Shuffling to hide further in the bushes, Vega was surprised to see Dhalsim…and if that was not enough Dhalsim was sporting a "hoodie" and a pair of black baggy pants, and a blue cap. It was then Vega had flashbacks of what happened to him and the other's in Dhalsims temple (and yes- I AM making a reference to my last fan fiction!) and shuddered.

As he entered words were exchanged which Vega could not make out. They spoke for a while, and it wasn't until Rose pointed at here cauldron did Vega noticing it. Both fighters wondered over to it, at which it began smoking immediately. 

"hhhmmm…this love potion is coming along nicely…" Dhalsim commented.

Love potion? Had Vega heard right? Why were these 2 making a love potion? Vega thought Dhalsim might have a little trouble finding someone but Rose? Vega would never admit it-but he did have a thing for Rose-even though she was 20-so years his senior.

As they exited the room, Vega had forgot about killing Rose and decided to nick some of that potion. Creeping in the window he swiped an empty bottle from the side of the cauldron and filled it up. Creeping back out he made his way back to the base, too excited about the potion to think of a good excuse to tell Bison why Rose was still alive.

Grinning evilly Rose and Dhalsim re-entered the room.

"Looks like the snake took the bait huh" Rose giggled. 

Vega peered over the potion in his room in shadowlaw. He had to admit, he never had trouble getting girls with his good looks and all, but he did have a problem keeping them considering his psychotic habits like hacking people's heads off and drinking their blood. That was a definite turn off for the opposite sex. And there was the fact that he had major crushes on certain female street fighters who he had pissed off in the past.

(*chibi-nemesis*-hhhmmmmm…chin-li… Cammy…Ken   * whack * owww-I was only joking Vega!)

The love potion would solve these problems, and Vega imagined his life filled with happiness…well…lets be honest-full of sex with the most beautiful women in the world more like. At about 9am (when most of shadowlaw were asleep as they mainly worked at night) he made his way to the science lab, where a database of all the details about street fighters that had entered the tournaments over the last decade was stored. He commanded the computer to list all the female fighters-and it came up with:

Juni

Juli

R.mika

Cammy

Chun-li

Sakura

Karin

Ibuku

…And Vega.

He promptly kicked the **** outta the computer after printing out all the details. 

Putting on his sexist outfit (which happened to be tight black leather trousers, an even tighter white v-neck shirt and a black trench coat imbedded with tiny diamonds and silver buckles…*chibi-nemesis drools! *…he's got my dress sense and DAMN does he looks good! J) and set off to the printers, to make lots of copies of his "party invitations". 

Using his power as a shadowlaw lord, Vega's invitations were delivered via shadow law "we'll deliver ya guns before the police break down your door-we're that fast!" delivery service. The party was supposedly held to celebrate the underground fighting ring and everyone was to meet in the park at 8pm.

Vega-laughing wickedly set to work filling tiny arrows with the potions-each one with a name of a female street fighters, with the exception of Karin and Sakura, because they were too young and that would just be sick, and himself-because it was obvious he didn't need a potion to make him fall in love with himself-that had already happened. 

He also put an arrow aside for Rose, just in case…;)

So setting the little party up in a park far away from the city where the police would not disturb him, and only using a couple of shadowlaw men as so not to attract any attention from Bison, Vega had the little party set up before 7pm. Now all he had to do was wait…


	2. the scene is set...

The (miss) adventures of the Spanish ninja book 1

So everything was set-the tables with snacks had been laid out, the hi-fi was on standby, the trees of the park were draped in tinsel and colourful spray, and the sunset, with its lovely red after glow really set the mood.

Vega was hiding in the bush as the shadow lawmen drove off. He only had 10 minutes to wait till 8pm, and already he could see cars driving down the dusty path to the park. Vega, giggling like a schoolgirl got his bow and arrows ready. People began emerging from the cars, quite distant from where Vega was, and they began wandering towards the tables and chairs, wondering what the hell was going on. Vega suddenly became pissed off, as he realised there were "uninvited guests". Chun-li had been accompanied by Guile, Jane (his wife) Amy (his daughter) and their little white dog. He was surprised that she had had not arrived with Ken or Ryu, as rumours that the three of them had gotten back in touch had been spreading through shadow law. Which was the reason why he had invited Karin and Sakura, which he had no intention on making a move on. It was well known that Karin and Sakura were always challenging Ken and Ryu to fights, and he thought they would prove as useful distractions would the need arise. But he was certainly not expecting Guile and his family to turn up. Never mind. Another car arrived, this time Cammy stepping out. "At least she's on her own," Vega thought. 

Moments later he looked down the dusty path to a rather large figure was running towards the park-and only later did he realise that it was because it was being chased by another figure. R.Mika had arrived, being "escorted" by none other than Dan Hibiki

"Awwww c'mon baby…just one date"

"NOOOOOOO" R.Mika screamed in her strong Russian voice.

A van was now making its way down the path, and Vega had inkling about who was inside it. Juni and Juli stepped out, returning from their mission in Denmark, which was why Vega had to invite them-because he wouldn't see them in shadow law for 3 months, and he had to admit the idea of both of them made him rather…well you know…(*cough…hard…cough*-chibi nemesis). What he did not expect was for Sakura, Karin, Ryu and Ken to jump out the back of it. Juni and Juli made their way into the crowd-looking like F.B.I agents with their serious stern looks.

"So why were we invited here Juni?"

"Bisons orders on the invite Juli" 

So everyone had arrived…plus some extra's. No matter. The extra people could prove as distractions when he fired his arrows. As the fighters began grouping and talking to each other (with the exception of Juni and Juli, who just stood at the edge of the park looking very moody) completely confused at what this celebration was being held-and even more confused when-the hi-fi started playing "love is in the air". 

Getting his arrows ready his first "victim" was the lovely Chun-li. She was chatting with Ryu and co. all of them huddled in a group. Getting his shot ready he aimed for chun-li's leg, as it was the only visible part of her. 

Vega fired his arrow. 

Unfortunately little Amy had gotten in the way. Hitting her in the back-but not hurting her too much she suddenly became rather dizzy, and fell over. Guile, who was close by, picked her up and took her to the car.

Oh well, that was unfortunate, but she wasn't hurt too bad and Vega had plenty of arrow's left. He pondered on the idea of aiming for Guile's wife, as she was a very fine lady indeed. He decided on doing that later, as the crowd had gathered around the both of them. No matter. 

His eyes wandered to Juni and Juli, who were still standing away from the crowd looking grumpy. As they were so close together he decided it would be easier to shoot two arrows at once. 

So carefully lining up two arrows he shot them straight at the pair.

Success! 

It had hit them both. 

They became dizzy, and would have hit the ground had it not been for them catching each other. 

Vega patiently waited.

After a moment, both their eyes fluttered open and they gazed at each other. Vega did not understand what was going on as juni and juli suddenly started smothering each other in kisses-drawing the attention of the crowd. All the guys cheered, (typical  * chibi-nemesis *) and went over to the pair who were now…ugghh…doing unwholesome stuff on the grass. It didn't last long as Jane separated the two and took them back to their truck wondering what the hell had gotten into the both of them**. **

"Damn! Just my luck" Vega cursed-but wait!

Now cammy was all on her own…

The perfect opportunity!

Taking another arrow out he carefully aimed at Cammy-who was oblivious to anything. 

But again-trouble struck. 

This time the arrow hit! Success, and again another victim became dizzy and Cammy fell to the floor. 

Vega decided to wait until Cammy regained consciousness before making his presence known. Unfortunately Ryu decided to do that instead as he ran over to Cammy to help her up. 

"Are you ok miss?"

"Oh…" upon opening her eyes, "OHHHH COME 'ERE HOT STUFF!" and with this Ryu was almost suffocated on account that Cammy had stuck herself to his face.  

So while Ryu was dragged off to some private part of the park, Vega simply hit his forehead and vowed that next time this would defiantly work. It was then he spotted R.Mika, who usually was not his type but then again it was worth a go, hiding behind a tree, obviously hiding from Dan, who was watching Ryu kicking and screaming as Cammy dragged him off, wishing he was Ryu right about now. 

Laughing wickedly to himself, Vega lined up his shot.

Being extra careful that there was no one in the way and that, when he stood up R.Mika would be able to see him perfectly; he released his arrow, it striking R.Mika perfectly in her hip.

She, unlike the others did not fall down-but held onto the tree for support. Vega stood up from the bush-the group still distracted. 

R.Mika's eyes fluttered open

And yes now she was most certainly in love

With the tree. 

This became quite obvious to Vega as R.Mika had climbed up the tree, and started her pelvic thrusts, which shook all the leaves off the tree and most certainly caught the attention of the group. Again chun-li sought to deal with this as Vega quickly hid again in the bush, cursing his bad luck. Sighing, he decided he needed to think things through before making another attempt at shooting his arrow. 

Ibuki had not turned up

His attempts on chun-li failed,

R.Mika was busy humping that tree,

Cammy was probably busy humping Ryu

Juni and Juli were Probably humping each other in their truck

And Vega had gotten no-where. He had 2 arrows left and decided to leave it to fate to decide this match.

Standing up, he took the 2 arrows, closed his eyes and just fired. The crowd had fallen silent, as they look bewildered at the now visible Vega. He still had his eyes closed. 

Then he felt something brush against his leg, and a voice yell

"Vega! The love of my life! Kiss me!"

Vega recognised the voice.

Uh-oh!

Vega screamed.

The person he had hit was…


	3. AAAAGGGGG-NO NO NO NOT HIM!!!!!

The (mis)adventure of the Spanish ninja book 1 

The person he had hit was none other than * DUHN DUHN DUHNNNNN! * ( * giggle * chibi nemesis)  DAN HIBIKI! 

Vega's other victim was already on him; Guiles little white dog was happily humping his leg. Trying to shake the dog off, Vega forgot for a split second about Dan as he stumbled out of the bush-ALL eyes now firmly on him. As his attempts of getting the dog off of him was futile, and as Dan began rushing towards him, along came Ibuki, accompanied by 30 ninjas from her clan. (Look- I dunno much about Ibuki so forgive me ok! *** **chibi nemesis *) who were secretly being followed by Rose and Dhalsim. Rose and Dhalsim stayed out of sight as Ibuki and co. entered the scene. 

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHAT'S THIS PARTY ABOUT?" demanded Ibuki.

Of course she got no answer, because everyone was trying to hide their laughter as Dan was chasing Vega, who was screaming his head off as he exited the park-horny dog still intact on his leg. Rose and Dhalsim emerged from hiding as everyone watched the figures of Dan and Vega become dark silhouettes against the darkening horizon. 

Rose walked into the crowd approaching chun-li, who was still laughing her head off.

"It WORKED!" Chun-li laughed-"he never saw it coming!"

Cammy and Ryu re-emerged "yeah-man did you see the look on his face when I dragged Ryu off?" cammy piped

"So you mean this whole thing was a joke? WHY DID'NT YOU TELL ME!" Ryu screamed.

R.Mika wondered over "because you men are lousy at acting, and he would of found us out. Besides, it was funny watching you squirm. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Ryu was far from amused (in fact he was a little pissed off-which made him look cute (_~ CN)

Ken heard this and added "HAHAHA- so I guess Dan is in on this too huh?"

Rose and Dhalsim sweat dropped.

"Err-no actually!" Rose said

"Yeah-well I was gonna say of they were in on it then Guiles dog must be very well trained!" said Ken.

" awwww man this is gonna be FUNNY!" Cammy piped.

"Does this mean you might go out with Dan, Mika? Were you only joking when you were running from him?"

"NOOOOOOOO! NEVER! NEVER NEVER NEVER!" screamed R.mika " I may be desperate but I'm not BLIND!" (*I actually think he's kinda cute-if a goofy kinda way! I haven't got anything against him! * Chibi nemesis)

("Oh you think everyone is cute!" –Vega)

(Well its true, you all are! - (_^ )

("Yeah well I guess someone who only has one eye would say that!! –Vega)

(*BANG* OWWW-Vega)

(Remember, I am the author I CAN MAKE YOU SUFFER!!!)

("I know you wont really-you love me too much!"-Vega)

("I guess your right- I do love you street fighters too much! (_^, Anyway back to the fanfic!")

"Ok now its time to bring out the big guns-make him really suffer!" said Dhalsim, as they teleported to where Vega and Dan were running.

Both fighters had run to the city, Vega desperately trying to find somewhere to hide. 

"VEGAAAAAA, COME BACK TO ME MY LOVE!!!!" Dan shrieked as he continued following him. 

Vega, on the way managed to get the dog off his leg, at which to the dog was barking madly after Vega-probably muttering the same sentiments that Dan was.  

 "WOOF WOOOF WOOF WOF WOOOOF WOOF WOOF"(*OH LUCIOUS LEG-COME BACK TO ME MY LOVE * dog)

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" said Rose as she and Dhalsim teleported in front of Vega. "Heh-now well will bring you your ultimate nightmare!" said Dhalsim. 

(Warning-I'm about to use the most overworked and typical cliché' in fanfiction such as these-so forgive me * CN*)

Dhalsim and Rose transformed Vega into the one being that would bring him the ultimate trouble. Now this would have been ok had only Dan been around, but unfortunately Ibuki and her ninja clan had been following them.

Ibuki, who was still demanding what was going on got no reply from anyone and even worse-when she commanded her clan to attack the four fighters they simply stood there and drooled over Vega.

Because Vega had been transformed into the ultimate fantasy.

Yes he was now (here comes the cliché' people! *CN *) SAILOR MOON! With pretty braids-that oh so unforgettable sailor outfit with matching wand and thigh high boots, he had been turned into the ultimate fantasy of red-blooded eastern men everywhere. (Which of course included the ninja's-being Japanese and all!) Vega knocked his knees together-now looking like a frightened transvestite (and a very attractive on at that *giggle* CN)

("Oh I hate you nemesis!" –Vega)

Than a fearless assassin, he ran off screaming as the ninja clan ran after him-Dan and the little white dog following. But he knew where he was going. He was going to Rose's house.

As Dhalsim and Rose teleported to her house, Vega was already there-extremely pissed off and wanting some answers. He jumped out of the bush (costume still in tact) right before Rose get her key into the lock.

"WHAT THE ^*&^^%£"*^^^$^%$£"!"££$%^&&*%$£$$£"!"$^**^$ DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?" Vega demanded. 

Rose and Dhalsim just stood there, dumbstruck; they certainly were not expecting to see him.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?" Vega screamed, getting all huffy and puffy. (Awwwwww! **CN**)

"Don't tell me you've forgotten-Vega" said Dhalsim "I STILL HAV'NT FORGIVEN YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY ELEPHANTS!!!!!"

Vega simply stood there with a 0_0 expression.

"What? You mean I suffered BECAUSE OF THAT!" 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN **BECAUSE OF THAT?** HOW DARE YOU! THEY WERE MY ELEPHANTS!"

And so as Vega and Dhalsim continued an argument Jerry Springer would be proud of, rose spotted the huge crowd of Vega, well, sailor moon admirers heading their way (including a crowd of Japanese business men who had spotted Vega!). Opening the door, she pulled Dhalsim in, Vega also making it in uninvited before she closed the door. Running upstairs, cries of "sailor moon, WE LOVE YOU" from the ninja's and the business men, and "VEGA MY LOVE, I DID'NT KNOW YOU WERE SO KINKY!!" from Dan to which, Vega cursed uncontrollably. So trapped upstairs in Rose's house, Vega angrily turned to the other two and said "when is this gonna end? They are not even under a spell, yet they act like uncontrollable animals!" Vega saw that Dhalsim had turned his nose up at him-so Vega just did the same. Trust Rose to sort it out.

"Look, Vega, if you just apologize to Dhalsim for what you did, then we will stop all of this. 

After moments of hesitation, Vega finally apologised. Dhalsim accepted, and teleported outside, knowing how to calm the crowd.

Rose and Vega stayed quiet for a few moments, before Rose finally said

" I don't understand, why did Dan fall in love with you when that potion was a hoax?"

"WHAT? THIS WAS A HOAX?, wait…are you sure it was a hoax?" Vega said-going over to her cauldron. 

"Yes I'm sure!" rose said as she wandered over.

The cauldron was still smoking, and Vega motioned for Rose to take a sip. 

" See, I told you, it's…uuu

                                         Uggg

                                                 hhhhhh……."

Rose blacked out for a moment before opening her eyes, the vision that stood before her too good to be true.

Hours later, everyone was still in the park, waiting for Dhalsim and Rose to return. And as Ryu and ken joked about Dan and his new "girlfriend" chun-li began to worry a little about them. Right after that thought Dhalsim appeared.

"Where's rose?" was the immediate question asked. 

"That's a good point," Dhalsim said, as he had come to the park straight after getting rid of the ninja's and Dan by giving them a "strip show". They were all extremely disgusted at his pelvic thrusts, he recalls, and all left before he even got to his trousers. Guiles little white dog was extremely disgusted, as it had run off whimpering to the park where Dhalsim was right now. It was now barking at him furiously.

"I forgot about her and Vega back there…"

"WHAT?" chun-li said-startled. "You mean to tell me you LEFT HER THERE WITH THAT PSYCHOPATH?"

"Uuummmmmmm…" o_O –Dhalsim

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…" –Rose

Yep-there was rose, lying naked in bed-right next to Vega. They had spent 3 hours non-stop making love. The worrying part was that the potion actually only lasted 20 minutes.

"So I take it you liked that sweetheart" Vega slyly replied. 

Rose simply kept clutching the blanket- 0_0

Vega looked a little disappointed "so you didn't like it then?"

"Erm…to be honest-I never thought I'd sleep with someone so much younger than me-but IT WAS BRILLIANT! But please don't tell anyone about this!"

"I wont, my little cupcake" 

And with that they kept on "rocking the kasbah" for another 12 hours.

Back at shadowlaw-

Bison laughed manically as he further recorded the activities of Rose and Vega. For it was really he who had played the trick on the both of them. He had punished Vega by making Dan fall in love with him (he was punishing Vega for not destroying Rose AND organizing a party using behind his back-and he was just a little sore for not being invited!)

("I WAS NOT!"  * **BANG * -MB)**

**(OOOWWWWWW…-CN)**

And he was punishing Rose for still being alive-by making her fall for one of his employees. But she seemed to be enjoying her punishment.

**"**I didn't realise that you had this in you Rose ("excuse the pun"-CN), this will make great illegal explicit naughty videos to be sold through my organisation!!" 

Cue the maniacal laughter.

                    So thus ends the first book of the (mis)adventures of the Spanish ninja. More "books" coming soon!

                                                                              The chibi nemesis (_0

p.s Guiles dog wants to say something- "WOOF!"

translation "in case you were wondering why I fell in love with Vega when the potion was supposed to be a hoax was this-I was pissed off when that idiot hit me with that arrow, but when I saw his leg I really fell in love! It was perfectly shaped, deliciously muscular, and being sexually repressed cos army man and his family doesn't let me near any lady dogs I had to take my chance!"

Oh and he also says-"WOOF WOOD WOF WOF WOOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARKKKK Woof  woof bark bark WOOF WOOFFFFFFFFF!

Translation-"goodnight readers, hope you liked the fanfiction 0_~"


End file.
